


fire in the hole (please send help)

by wayslide



Series: friendship for ninjas 101 [2]
Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen
Genre: Gen, Kakashi's PTSD alarms other shinobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26045365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayslide/pseuds/wayslide
Summary: Genma doesn't know who this Tenzou person is, but he's possibly ruined Genma's entire life just by existing. Or, at least more so than Kakashi already has.
Series: friendship for ninjas 101 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901791
Comments: 50
Kudos: 434
Collections: Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection





	fire in the hole (please send help)

**Author's Note:**

> I am delighted by how people have taken to the idea of the support groups! I pretty much love all the ideas other people have had about them. I'm hoping this doesn't invalidate anyone's ideas, but people were wondering who else might be in the FoKESG and my brain went _Genma_ and latched onto this idea and didn't let go. I come up with things for Maximum Possible Chaos rather than logic; I definitely don't think this is the only possibility! Rather than a sequel, this is probably more of a recursive fic of my own fic…

The 327th meeting of the semi-official Friends of Kakashi Emotional Support Group (or, as most people still called it, Friday night drinks) did not start out particularly notable except that Gai was unusually late. Even that wasn't too strange because they'd had to relocate three times to avoid an unusually nosy Kakashi, but eventually they'd settled in at Ebisu's apartment.

The location had been chosen because Kakashi was engaged in a long-standing ruse that he had no idea where Gai lived and therefore avoided the building as a whole as if that gave him plausible deniability instead of proving to everyone that he knew _exactly_ where Gai's apartment was. Genma was relatively certain this was why Ebisu had willingly become Gai's neighbor.

Asuma was present because he was required to attend if he was in the village. This was due to the fact this group had been his (joking) brainchild in the first place, so it was generally considered his fault that any of them were in this situation in the first place. He grumbled about it but mostly accepted that it was his moral obligation to be around to contain at least _some_ of the nonsense.

Kurenai was here, maybe because she was friends with Gai, possibly because she was keeping Asuma company. Probably both.

Ebisu would probably be here soon too, since it was his apartment.

Other than that, everyone else was generally a revolving door of attendees. Anko showed up sometimes because she thought the whole thing was hilarious. Two months into Team 7's formation, she'd brought Iruka along despite his protests that he considered Kakashi less of a friend and more of a personal enemy and the bane of his existence.

Big deal. That meant less than nothing when all of Kakashi's friends started out like that. Just look at Gai. If someone had tried to tell Genma twenty years ago that Gai would end up being Kakashi's best friend, he would have reported them immediately to a superior for mental instability. Anko had once drawn up a chart to prove her theory that the amount of initial interpersonal aggression at first contact was proportional to a greater number of overall positive interactions with Kakashi over time, as long as anyone who Kakashi had killed personally within forty-eight hours of meeting them had been removed from the data set. Genma believed it because Kakashi was dysfunctional as hell.

Even Tsunade sometimes showed up to gripe about Kakashi, which was alarming because _Tsunade_ and _Hokage_ but also because she always called him 'brat' and reminded Genma uncomfortably of the fact that Kakashi hadn't actually sprung fully formed from the White Fang's forehead, dangerous and lethal with a personality complicated and difficult even for a shinobi and reflexively allergic to any sort of genuine intimacy.

Genma couldn't believe the guy had actually ended up becoming a jounin-sensei. It had almost made sense when his team turned out to be the center of that the whole Orochimaru mess at the Chuunin Exams, that thing with the giant toad, and also the time every department in Konoha turned itself inside out because the Nara girl had invented an entire line of storage scrolls for the sole purpose of getting back at one guy in Logistics. They'd done a bunch of other alarming things, but those were the things that stuck out in Genma's mind.

Genma didn't necessarily consider himself Kakashi's friend, but for better or for worse he did consider himself Gai's friend, making Kakashi a friend of a friend—or, specifically, the Eternal Rival of his friend who was Gai whose grasp of boundaries could at best be described as 'tenuous'—which meant that ultimately Kakashi was Genma's business. Which meant, in sort of a roundabout way, that Kakashi was actually _Genma's_ friend, even if Kakashi probably didn't extend to him the same courtesy. Genma didn't take it personally. Gai had just gotten the 'friend' label after over fifteen years of concentrated effort. Genma estimated that with his own current level of no effort, Kakashi might possibly acknowledge they were friends in a couple lifetimes, assuming reincarnation was a thing.

He wasn't about to hold his breath for it, but the point was that somehow he'd ended up invested in Kakashi's general well-being despite the fact caring about it had never really done him any good.

"Greetings, fellow Friends!" Gai shouted, bursting in through the door.

Kurenai said, "Oh, a newcomer!"

Genma squinted at the person at Gai's heels and said, "A newcomer, huh? How do you know Kakashi?"

The newcomer smiled tightly and said, "You can call me Tenzou," which Genma mentally translated as _ANBU, suspicious origins_.

Asuma said mildly, "Ah." He turned to Gai. "How did you find him?"

"He was training with Kakashi and his team! He also graciously agreed to participate in our Youthful Challenge of the Day—"

"Gai," Genma interrupted, much more calmly than he felt, "please tell me that you did not invite Tenzou to a Support Group meeting in front of Kakashi."

"Of course I did!" Gai said. His Nice Guy pose made pressure throb behind Genma's eyes. "Any friend of Kakashi's is a friend welcome here!"

Someone was crunching on something and the sound of it grinding between teeth provided a strangely harmonious counterpart to the panicked static in Genma's mind.

It had been a good run. "I have to cross the sea to escape Kakashi before he realizes," Genma said, much more dramatically than he had intended.

"I don't know," Asuma said dryly. "I think it might be too late for that."

Genma blinked at him. Then he remembered that Ebisu didn't allow snacks in his apartment because Snacks Are Not Conducive To A Productive Learning Session, Genma and whirled around to glare at the two teenagers crouching in the corner of Ebisu's living room eating senbei.

"Beloved pupils of Kakashi!" Gai said delightedly, as if it wasn't unforgivably rude to use stealth techniques to infiltrate a meeting of some of the most skilled shinobi of the village, as well as extremely terrifying that they were able to do so. Then again, they _were_ Kakashi's students. It made a certain kind of sense that Gai would think this was normal. "Are you here for the Support Group?"

"Who invited you?" Genma asked suspiciously.

"We invited ourselves!" Shikako said, looking entirely too pleased with that answer.

"We're here to spy for sensei," Sasuke said nearly at the same time, impressing Genma somewhat with his willingness to throw Kakashi under the bus.

Shikako made a face at him, but added, "And just for the record, he has absolutely no idea that this is Ebisu's apartment and that Gai is his neighbor."

Gai gasped. "Is this true? I must invite my Hip and Cool rival and friend over to partake in some Invigorating Tea! It is only fitting that he know my place of residence as well as I know his!" Genma carefully deleted the knowledge that Gai knew where Kakashi lived and was apparently familiar with it from his memory for his own sanity. Ignorance was bliss.

"Right," Kurenai said. She had a hand hovering over her mouth like she was trying to hide a smile.

Tenzou gave the two teenagers a Look, which caused them to actually look a little contrite. Genma was reluctantly impressed and gave up the ghost of being suspicious because ultimately if he was an enemy and he knew Kakashi, he'd be dead already. Thus was the danger of associating with Kakashi; all risk and no reward. "How did he convince you to do this?"

"He bribed us," Sasuke said, sounding a little sorry but mostly resigned. It was deeply alarming that the kid whose entire clan had been massacred by his brother was the voice of reason in Team 7.

"Sorry, senpai," Shikako said meekly.

"What did he bribe you with?" Kurenai asked curiously.

Shikako beamed at her. "You'll find out soon enough."

Even Gai fell silently into tense concern at those words.

"We'll just…go now," Sasuke said, and then they made their way to the door instead of exiting out the window, proving that they at least had a better sense of courtesy than their erstwhile teacher.

All of Genma's survival instincts flared at once when Shikako paused before shutting the door after them. "Genma-senpai," she said in the exact tone of voice that Kakashi used when he was about to do something that would ruin your life for a _week_. "Sensei wanted me to pass on his thanks for your service."

"What?" Genma said dumbly. "Why? Huh?" He had unconsciously drawn three senbon out and was trying to decide how likely it was that he wouldn't need them.

Shikako laughed lightly and closed the door. Genma got a glimpse of Sasuke's long-suffering expression before it shut.

"What," Asuma said flatly. "What did you do."

"Nothing!" Genma said. "I think?!"

Tenzou squinted after them. "I think that was a joke?"

They all took a moment to consider this. Genma turned over the idea that Kakashi's students had not only agreed to show up uninvited to a gathering of highly-ranked shinobi using stealth skills to spy on them but had also taken the effort of being deliberately alarming once caught just to _mess with him_ , and then grabbed Gai's arm and hissed with some urgency, "I can't believe Kakashi is out here making _more Kakashis_." Someone needed to tell the Hokage. Except, probably she already knew? They should put out a public service announcement or something—

Gai laid a hand gently over Genma's, his eyes brimming with emotion, which was enough to break Genma from his rapid-fire thoughts about damage control. "Indeed it is a beautiful thing," Gai said, completely missing the point.

This was a mistake, Genma realized belatedly and with no small amount of despair. _Of course_ Gai would think this was a good thing.

Gai continued with verve, growing more and more passionate and emotionally compromised as he spoke. "My rival is cultivating the minds of tomorrow; sowing the seeds of the future with his own two hands—" and then, overcome with joy, began to weep, and threw himself fully into Genma's arms. Genma had the practice of nearly a full lifetime of this happening to prepare himself, but still rocked back a little with the force of it.

He patted Gai's back as he searched the room wildly for a more sympathetic and sane response. His eyes met the shell-shocked ones of Tenzou.

Tenzou nodded in solidarity. "Senpai can be a lot," he said, earning Genma's gratitude for all eternity.

"I had Shikako on my team temporarily for the Hidden Grass exams," Asuma offered. "It was…an experience."

"The young minds of Konoha are enriched by Kakashi's willingness to share his vast experience!" Gai announced into Genma's shoulder, not noticing when everyone else in the room drooped a little.

The sound of the door unlocking caused them all to tense up, but it was just Ebisu, who shrieked in surprise to see all of them in his apartment with their weapons drawn.

Asuma coughed. "Right," he said, putting his kunai away. "So, now that we're all here, we'd better start today's session of the Friends of Kakashi Emotional Support Group…"


End file.
